Essential Habits - For Life!
Habits are something everyone is talking about. Your doctor, your boss, your spouse, the lady at the gym, your child’s teacher. Everyone has something to say about creating good habits – why they are important and which ones you should have. The list of potential habits is long. Honestly, if you listed the amount of things that an expert says you should have a habit around, you’d quickly be overwhelmed.
I will join the “habit” party in todays blog!. However, I’m going to share with you only the four habits that I have committed to for life. The ones that matter to me most and that make the biggest difference to me. There are other things I care about, but they aren’t on this “for life” list. (for example: you won’t see me giving up pizza or sweets or other such things I’d find torturous. I also acknowledge I have a slight attachment to my iPhone which I’m always looking to improve on. I’m not there yet!)
There are a handful of things I prioritize in my life that are essential to my happiness, my routine and the life I’m looking to create:
1. Exercise – You didn’t think that this wouldn’t be on the list, did you? It simply has to be on the list! If you do any research on the science of happiness, living a long life, having energy, alleviating stress and any other number of positive outcomes, regular exercise is always on the list. It is often the #1 factor! I found a love for spin cycling about 6 years ago after being a life-long “non-exerciser” or inconsistent at it, at best. I didn’t enjoy exercise. I avoided it. I would describe myself as “not an athlete”. Now, I’m up at the ungodly hour of 4:45 am several days a week and I absolutely love it.
The key with exercise is to find something that you enjoy and that you’ll miss if you don’t do it. If you hate running, don’t pick running because you think you should. Pick something you enjoy or want to improve at.
2. Spiritual Practice and Reflection – We have to have moments daily where we pause, reflect, talk to God, meditate and are still. Being constantly on the move, hustling, checking things off of a list, scrolling endlessly through our phones – these behaviors are everywhere and are often the source of much of our stress and frustration. Without moments of calm, peace and self-reflection, we are at a huge disadvantage. I make time daily now for at least 15-20 minutes a day where I can focus on my “inner life”. It is only in these quiets moments that the “still small voice” can direct your thoughts or give you the clarity you need. It also sets the stage for incorporating moments of pausing and reflection throughout the rest of the day.
3. Restful Sleep – I love sleeping. As a mom of 3, it has not always been easy to get the sleep I need, but it has always been a priority to try. My husband will tell you that I am not the nicest person if I haven’t had enough sleep. You may be the same! I do my best to get to bed at a reasonable time most nights. I also purchased this clock awhile back. It’s amazing – Sleep meditations, calming alarms sounds and lights, integrated with your phone. So tranquil! Like exercise, sleep is something that is critical in so many areas of life – if you aren’t getting enough of it, stress will increase, often exercise and healthy eating are more challenging.
4. Coaching / Community – You absolutely need people around you who want to help you succeed at your goals. People that you can trust and that you know have your best interest in mind. People who will hold you accountable. People who are also looking to improve in their personal and professional lives. I have hired coaches in the past for my business and my life and am now part of a business mastermind group. These have been absolutely key in helping me reach my goals!! I encourage you to find some sort of support for your goals. If coaching is something you have considered – reach out to me, I’d love to help you!
Another thought - we are incredibly hard on ourselves if we have a day, a week or even a month when we don’t follow our habits perfectly. We say: “I missed a workout, I missed two workouts. I haven’t slept well in a week. What is wrong with me? I just can’t form good habits.” And then we are right back where we started….bad habits galore and we feel life failures. “What’s the point of trying?” we say. Truth is that in the failing, we can start again fresh and learn what to do better next time to succeed.
We have to learn how to give ourselves a break and start again. This is where the coaching and community can be helpful. Both in terms of celebrating our wins, but also in helping us get back up. When we fail – we have to give ourselves GRACE and acceptance to get back up and start over. Without beating ourselves up! No good has ever come from that.
I’d also suggest not getting in the trap of creating the never-ending list of habits you will incorporate. It’s not sustainable. Identify 4 or so, like I did, and focus there! Once you’ve mastered one, maybe add another.
So, if you have messed up in this area – start again! Start again today! There is always a new opportunity in front of you. I’m here to help you on your journey.