Mothers Who Work (and why they’re my mission!)
The term “working mothers” is a relic of the past. It was likely coined in the 1970s as shorthand to talk about the woman who has left her home and is in the “work world”. (I picture that 80s movie ‘Nine to Five’ as I write this.) The term was meant to refer to what was, at that time, more of an anomaly and not the norm. Fifty years ago, less than half of moms worked outside of the home.
Things are different now but our language has not changed. We still use the term as though it’s that anomaly of the past. Today, 81% of women with school aged children work full time. Most mothers are “working mothers”. What was the “exception” 50 years ago is the rule today. Women now out-represent their male counterparts in the workforce.
Not only has our language not changed. Our support of mothers as a society drastically needs an overhaul as well - an overhaul in support of Mothers Who Work. The distinction is important - leading with “mother”, knowing that she sees herself as a mother, first, before she sees herself as a worker, or an employee.
I believe that motherhood and families are paramount to a thriving and a successful society (who else could be more important?). If that is true, then what support does the mother who works receive? And where does she receive it from? This is the question we need to answer.
Fifty years ago, the support systems that existed to support motherhood - both those moms who worked and those who did not - was vast. Families were more tightly knit. More of those families had close connections to other families through church, in the community, at the playground, at the local library. Mothers were in community with other mothers, surrounded by their kids.
Today, mothers go to work and they come home (sometimes they work from home, leaving them feeling isolated, at times). They are stressed, burnt out and overwhelmed. Any sense of community outside of work is rare, rushed or nonexistent. Facebook and Instagram are their (not-so-supportive) support systems. Their children are stressed and overwhelmed as well. Today, the rates of depression, suicidal thoughts and addiction to screens among children is well known and prominent. Something is broken.
Most organizations that are focused on supporting their working mothers are interested in supporting the working part, sometimes exclusively. Advancing careers, promoting women to higher roles, paying women more money. These are all very noble goals for each individual mother! I am incredibly thankful that as a mother I was able to advance my career, make more money, get promoted - all after having children. I am thankful for the managers and leaders that supported me and advocated for me!
However, the content and programming that organizations provide for their working mothers, generally, does not acknowledge or honor the mother part. You may argue that it shouldn’t - companies exist to make a profit, advance their business goals and promote their chosen causes. Ok, fine, I get it. But where are those burnt out, stressed out, overwhelmed women left then? The 81% who spend a crazy amount of their lives at work. The ones living in 2023, not in 1983 or 1973? Obviously, there is a gap to fill.
We desperately need more support, more programming and more acknowledgement of Mothers Who Work. From a variety of sources. It’s my most important mission, outside of being a mother myself - to support as many Mothers Who Work as I can, to enable their success, in themselves and at home, first. Confident in the belief that these amazing and supported Mothers Who Work make amazing workers too! and, Amazing Leaders! (They do! I know many.)
Will you join me on my mission to support Mothers who Work? :) Changing your language is the first step, followed quickly by supporting “the mother”.
If you’re a mom who identifies with what I’m saying and needs support (or if you know one!), learn more about my program supporting Mothers Who Work. It launches on April 17th. I’d love to have you!