It Starts With You
“Faith. Family. Friendship”. It is a happy sign in many people’s homes and a positive sentiment. Many who study happiness would tell you that this isn’t just a happy slogan, but these things are absolutely correlated with happiness, living a long life and being mentally well. The research is clear that strong family and friendship ties are highly related elements, as is having some religious practice that guides your life.
If these are an ideal to pursue and they are tied to happiness and life satisfaction, it should concern us that these things are becoming less and less important to Americans as time passes. According to a recent study by the Wall Street Journal / NORC, religion, patriotism, having children and being involved in ones community have fallen off a cliff, relative to where they were only 25 years ago.
Some 39% said religion was very important and 38% said patriotism was very important to them. That was down sharply from when the Journal first asked the question in 1998, when 62% deemed religion to be very important, and 70% said so of patriotism.
In regards to the idea of having children and being involved in your community – these have also fallen off the cliff. 30% of people view having children as important, compared to 59% in 1998. 27% of people believe community involvement is important, compared to 47% in 1998.
Tolerance toward others that are different than you is currently at 58%. If the opposite of tolerance is intolerance, is it fair to say that 42% believe in that? Seems concerning, doesn’t it? – a society where 4 out of 10 folks believe in NOT tolerating their neighbors.
The one thing that was on the rise in the study? Money. Money is valued more highly than in 1998 (31% then compared to 43% now). Our priorities are out of wack.
If we know what leads to happiness and life satisfaction, and we see those elements in such decline, should we be shocked by the state of our mental health, depression and substance abuse in our country. Probably not.
These numbers may bother you. They bother me. It is very easy to become discouraged by them, and to lean into an attitude of negativity about what this means for the future. BUT, there is an answer…
I am not in a position to affect these national trends very much. And neither are you.
My sphere of influence, and yours, extends to a circle of people that is relatively small in the grand scheme of things.
What I am able to affect is myself. My influence and my control begins with me – my attitude, my decisions and my behavior. It extends to my family and friends and then outward from there.
How much of a difference has it made for you, when one person has shown you kindness in your community in the past few years? It makes a big difference because it is becoming less and less the norm.
When someone smiles in a public place and offers a genuine show of compassion – how has that affected you? For me, it has had an impact. It stands out. It is noticeable.
It is very easy to focus on macro issues like those reflected in this study. The fact is that a strong society is built in many micro interactions. Me to you and you to me. You to your neighbor next door. Me to the lady at the grocery store. You to the teacher at your child’s school.
If each one of us, independently, made a real effort to reverse these trends in our own lives (or to strengthen them), the impact of our actions would matter. If we influenced others in a similar way, the impact of their actions would matter also. Soon, you’d have a ripple effect and a deepening of communal ties that have frayed. You’d have increasing bonds and relationships, more happiness, more meaning.
Isn’t that a positive? More positive than bemoaning these results?
I encourage you – let change start with you, where you are. If the news of the day, or these alarming trends bother you, let that be a catalyst to action.
Spend more time with loved ones. Go back to your house of worship. Volunteer in your community. Show love to your elderly neighbors. Help a single mother. Show gratitude and support to the first responders in your community.
The list of things we can do to create change is long. It starts with each one of us.